Disclaimer: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion. If I did, The End of Evangelion wouldn’t really be the end (in fact, it would never end) Anyway, Evangelion is owned by the wonderful folks at Studio GAINAX, and I am not on their payroll (or any payroll for that matter). Characters used in this story were used for recreational purposes... that says this is 100% nonprofit. Now, let us continue.



Written by Ultima Bigaroh, the IT (Information Technology) Professional

Chapter Three: The Second Coming

Satan (formerly St. Lucifer, Viceroy of Heaven and commanding Archangel), was sitting atop his throne deep within the dark cavernous realm of Hades. Chained to the wall was Adam, who received special treatment in the torture chamber on a daily basis.

“My dear brother, your sad excuse of a torture chamber will not stop the inevitable. Mankind will perish no matter what,” Adam said.

Satan scowled, “tell me... why did St. Michael betray the divine creator?”

“He, as well as the rest of us, is offended by God’s favoritism for Humanity. He gave them free will, while we are expected to blindly follow him, but you should know that better than anyone. You were the first to defy him.”

The former St. Lucifer smirked. “Tell me, how will your superiors be able to destroy me, the most powerful of all Archangels?”

Adam chuckled before speaking, “That’s funny, I always thought Saint Michael was the most powerful. He did defeat you, did he not?”

Satan emitted his own chuckle. “He did not play fair, but this time... I won’t either.”

“You tell me...” Adam replied, “just what are you scheming?”

A voice Adam recognized all too well answered. “He doesn’t have to tell you anything.” Out of nowhere, an albino-skinned female with red eyes and silver hair materialized.

Adam grinned. “It’s been a while, Lillith. I wonder... is it you that convinced Satan to fight along the cursed Lillum?”

“They are your offspring just as much as they are mine. Tell me Adam, why did you leave me for Eve?”

He retorted. “I will not tell you. Let me ask you this... WHAT DO YOU SEE IN HIM?!” Adam pointed his index finger at Satan.

“I saw a soul full of pain. A kind, caring soul buried deep beneath all that angst... beneath all that evil.”

Adam let loose a raging scowl while Satan let loose a happy sigh.


Soon, the Archangels would come to finish what Adam and his fifteen children could not do: eradicate humanity.

In a deep, dark office, one Boris Lorenz plotted to conquer the world. He is the son of Keel Lorenz, and primary successor to the throne of SEELE. Even though the committee was destroyed, several of the scientists were still living. However, Boris was not the only member of the committee. St. Michael, St. Raphael, and St. Uriel are his associated in this endeavor. Little did anyone know, these three Archangels were manipulating Keel, and now his son would be their next tool.

St. Michael, the current viceroy of Heaven and commanding Archangel was the first to make a speech in this certain meeting, “Son of Keel, we are not pleased with the lack of progress on new Evangelion Mass Production Series.”

Boris slightly groaned before making his retort, “As I said my lord, I have to be discreet. That old hag Fuyutski is keeping tabs on our facilities. We cannot hasten our counter attack or...”

“That is irrelevant,” St. Raphael interrupted, “We gave you a year to produce the tools for our army. One Hundred Evangelion Units, but I only see twenty.”

“My lord, you said you only required thirty-five! YOUR PROGRESSING DEMANDS ARE IMPOSS...”

“SILENCE FOWL HUMAN!” St. Uriel cut in, “You do not speak to our great leader in that tone.”

St. Michael stood up from his chair and walked towards the exit. “You have proven yourself useless. Uriel, Raphael, punish him as you see fit.”

Boris cried out, “MY LORD, PLEASE DON’T DO...”

Before he could scream another word, swords with blades of pure flame pierced both his neck and heart, respectively done by St. Raphael and St. Uriel.


January 16th, 2017 - Asuka Langley Ikari and Shinji Ikari were vacationing at the 650,000 yen per night Heaven’s Choir Luxury Beach Resort for their honeymoon. On December 4th, 2016 (Asuka’s 16th birthday), Shinji proposed. Naturally, she could never turn her one true love down. At this certain beach, the female population was allowed to roam topless. Shinji, being the hentai that he is, felt his pants getting real tight in that certain area.

Asuka (who laid on a towel, topless, only wearing red thong bikini briefs) noticed her soul mate‘s crotch rising, “I sure hope it’s my body that’s making you aroused, honey.”

Shinji smiled an assuring smile, “Of course. You’re the only woman in this entire universe who could ever make me feel aroused.”

The young, 3/4 German, 1/4 Japanese woman felt a severely rising temperature in her cheeks after hearing that little compliment. After she had regained her composure she stood up, giving the world around her a rather pleasant view of her naked (90 percent, that is) body. “I’m going for a dip.”

The young man smiled and replied, “Have fun.”

Asuka threw a mock death glare, “and you’re coming with me.” She whispered into his ear, “Those horny old men over there are staring me down. There’s no telling what they would do to me if they got a hold of me.”

Shinji gasped at what he saw. These men (there were three of them) were no ordinary men. They were members of SEELE’s own Section Two Division. “I think they’re after us. Look at the badges, their Section Two Agents.”

“From NERV?” She inquired.

He whispered, “no, they would have no reason to be monitoring us. They must be from SEELE‘s Section Two Division.”

Before an other word was said, the men drew their Berettas and closed in on the young couple.

Shinji, out of instinct, hoisted Asuka on to shoulders and ran as fast as he could. The men pursued them without thought.

Asuka pointed something out, “Wow Shinji, you’ve been working out.”

The male Ikari snickered a bit, “You can compliment my manly frame later. Right now we have to lose them.”

He ran and ran, and luckily for him, super spy Kaji Ryoji was here on business. “Kaji!”

Kaji smiled at the young lad, but quickly tore his head the other way when he saw an almost nude young woman hoisted on his shoulders. “Gee, umm, how is your honeymoon going?”

“NOT GOOD!” Shinji yelled. “It looks like SEELE is alive and well, and their Section Two agents are after us right now!”

“I see,” Kaji replied, opening his briefcase. Inside was a prototype M349 SAW Gun. “Looks like I’ll have to clean house,” he said, smirking, “and I’ll get to try this baby on for size.

The SEELE section two turned a corner and found their targets, but were also greeted by an unexpected, very unfriendly heavy machine gun.

Kaji growled in animosity as he downloaded a 50 round chain in to the bodies of the SEELE Section Two Agents. They were leaky pieces of T-bone steak after Kaji’s assault. “Now this is a fine piece of artillery. I’m so glad the JSSDF chose me to test it!”

A sweat bead trailed down the heads of Shinji and Asuka as they heard the super secret agent going on how a shooting good gun is like a good fuck. Not able to stand Kaji’s ranting and raving about fine artillery, they returned to their hotel room (for a good fuck).


In Hades, Angels have infiltrated Satan’s Palace.

“Sir, we estimate there are two platoons at work here.”

“I see, and what are these platoons composed of?” Satan inquired.

“From what we can tell, there are only Seraphims.”

Satan smirked, “If that’s the case, I will take them all on myself.”

The former Viceroy of Heaven teleported outside of his palace, hovering several meters above the seraphim platoon. He unleashed a single ki blast that eradicated them all. How ever, his victory was short lived. Several screams were emitted from inside his palace. When he returned, hundreds of mutilated body parts laid through out his place of residence. Satan assumed this was the work of Archangel St. Gabriel, mother of all Seraphim. When he returned to his throne room, the first thing he noticed was Adam’s disappearance. The next thing he noticed was Lillith’s corpse.

“DAMN IT!!” he growled.

He collapsed onto the floor, weeping for the one he loved most.


Moments later, at SEELE HQ in Russia, Adam was kneeling in front of Archangels St. Gabriel, St. Uriel, St. Raphael, and St. Michael. St Michael stepped forward, and drew his sword.

Adam thought, -I will be executed by St. Michael himself, although I think I am truly not worthy of such a magnificent death.-

However, death did not await him. St. Michael brushed his flaming sword on the shoulders of Adam. “Tell me, Adam. Who is your master?”

Adam replied. “I serve neither God, Lucifer, or the Lillum. I only serve you.”

St. Michael chuckled, “I would expect such loyalty from you, St. Adam.”

“Sire?” Adam inquired.

“From this moment on, you are no longer one of the 17 Angels of the Apocalypse. You are now St. Adam, an Archangel,” St. Michael stated.

“My lord, I am truly not worthy,” Adam insisted.

St. Michaels simple reply was, “nonsense.”


End Chapter Three. The Divine Eight have returned, with Adam taking Lucifer’s empty seat. Why do the Archangels need one hundred Evangelions to destroy the Lillum? What power will these new mass production Evangelions possess? Will Shinji and Asuka have to save the world? Can Satan lend a helping hand? Who fucking knows? I SURE DON’T!