By InsaneNoodlyGuy, leader of the petition to enforce anime skullfucking laws.
It was another fine and normal day at NERV. There were birds singing. Shinji was in one of the many bathrooms jerking off to gay porn. Askua was somewhere else being a bitch. Kaji was fucking somebody who wasnt Misato. Lilith was hanging around. Get it? Hanging around? Man Im funny. But anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. Minor characters whom only otaku remember* were doing there stupid ass stuff. Maya was being gay, Ritsuko was testing something, Keel Lorenz had fallen and couldnt get up.
*I dont know em! I dont! I dammit! Fine! Im an otaku okay? Sue me!
And Gendos skullfucking Rei again. Wait, what? OH DEAR GOD!
Nope. I wish I was on drugs, but Im not. He is. Gendos in his religiously significant office, with his pants around his ankles. Reis on her knees. Now you figure, hey, classic blow job situation! And that would be okay. Sure shes underage, but shes hot! And she is sorta his wife. Or daughter, or... something. But noooooo Mr. Fucked up here has his dick in her fucking eye socket! Its very good you cant see this people! Theres lots of blood and mucus and tears here! Cause hes fucking her eye, if you just turned in! Sweet Jesus, stop this!
Yet there is no stopping. Reis just sitting there. Blinking with tears, and that damn facial expression of hers. Shes in her plug suit. Gendo you are a perverted FUCKHEAD! Dieeeee. Just dieeeeeeeeee.
But apparently I dont mean jack shit. Because hes still skull fucking her. Forget the Eva unit 1 experiment, I think we know now how Yui really disappeared. Shes probably in some damn dumpster somewhere because her husband SKULLFUCKED HER! Why does this happen? Im gonna be sick!
Still going! Hes moaning and groaning and sweating and his balls are slapping against her nose and hes all sweaty and he has a gut he must have been sucking in all this time. Yep. Hes riding that socket like a little bitch. His mouth is groaning but his hips are like Whos your daddy? WHOS YOUR DADDY! Reis taking it like a whore on heroin that needs the cash for her next high and cant feel a damn thing. Hell, maybe she is. Thatd explain a hell of a lot wouldnt it? If ever a man deserved to burn in hell, itd be this guy. Gendo is a pimp of the damned!
Oh look. Maya just walked in the office. Finally somebody is doing something to stop this insanity, you worthless shitlickers.
Sir, you OH SWEET JESUS! Maya screamed out. Is that your penis in her eye-socket?!?! Gendo shrugged. Maya is vomiting, instead of jacking off like the rest of you fuckheads. Reis just staring with her good eye. Oh Christ. Did I just say that? Now Im gonna be sick! Ugh. I just was sick.
Relax Maya. Ritsuko says. Oh shes here too. And she doesnt seem to be surprised. Oh lovely. Well, shes fucking Gendo, we know shes messed up. Oh look, her hands are in her pants. Shes masturbating. Why not? My mind is already destroyed. Now life is after my soul.
Relax? Mayas blurting. Hes fucking her eye! Hes plugging in the socket! Stuffing the brain turkey! Why not just squick* her while your at it, you sick bastard!
*for those of you who havent read horrible doujin or are horrible people, thats making an orfrice in the head with a drill or whatnot. It is disgusting. You freak.
Aww but its turning me on! I like watching Rei die. And its not like we cant just get another. Ritsuko shrugged.
THATS NOT THE POINT! Maya screams. HES FUCKING HER EYE! THIS IS WRONG! WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG! Maya is pausing, presumably to take a breath. WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG! Okay Im done.
Ahh, cool down Maya. Tell you what. Ill give you sweet dickgirl love.
Maya raises an eyebrow Youre a dickgirl?
Ritsuko shrugs. Its an anime fanfic based on evil doujin. I can be a dickgirl if I want.
You mean like how I now have breasts thatd keep a farmhouse in business and sever my spinal cord?
And so, Maya got some sweet dickgirl loving with her big cow udders and Gendo is still putting the raging cock in Rei's eye. You people are sick fuckers. Eat shit and die. Im gonna go eat things. That aren't shit.
The horrible horrible end.