I don’t own Neon Genesis Evangelion. NGE Belongs to Gainax. I apologize in advance for all grammar and spelling mistakes.

Shinji’s Diary

My name is Shinji Ikari. I’m fifteen years old. Here are my stories.


I’m not sure what it was that made me think like that about Asuka. Probably it’s the cold weather. It’s quite cold that night. There was some sort of an eerie fog that covered Tokyo-3, hanging in the air like some sort of a cloudy, moist blanket.

Asuka called me around ten that night. After receiving several profanities and German abuse, she finally told me what she wanted from me.

“Yes… I want you to pick me up from Hikari’s place, okay?”

“Can’t you just stay where you are right now? I mean… its kinda late you know,” I said with irritation. I was already comfortably settled in my bed when I was roused by the phone. And going out in the cold of the night was the last thing I wanted to do.

“Listen to me Third Child! I didn’t have any fresh clothes with me… so I need to get back there tonight…”

I almost screamed with annoyance, but I kept my mouth shout, controlling my anger the best way I could.


I closed my eyes and counted one to five. Then I gave in, “Fine… I’ll be there in twenty minutes,”

“Thanks Shinji, you’re a real gentleman,” then the phone went dead.

All that time I was cursing under my breath. I just have my light slacks on and a shirt then a jacket. The lesser the clothes the quicker I could jump back into my bed with minimal removal of garments.

Then after a few minutes I was on the road, walking briskly into the dark of the night, shivering lightly under the freezing cold. I couldn’t see much because of the fog but I did good time because Hikari’s place was just a few blocks away. Well… it was still a good fifteen minutes walk anyway.

When I reached Hikari’s place, Asuka was already outside waiting with Hikari. The two were chatting lively. Well, a bit too lively in a cold and quiet night. What can I say? Girls.

“Hey… there’s Shinji!” Hikari pointed my direction as I came closer to them.

I nodded to Hikari, “Hello Hikari…”

“You’re a good man Shinji,” was Hikari’s kind words.

“What took you so long stupid?” and that one’s Asuka.

I ignored her and just looked on to the road, “Are we just gonna stand here or are we going?”

There was a pause. And I braced for the worst.

“What’s this? Have I annoyed the invincible Shinji?” Asuka has her hands on her waist daring me to say something.

“Let’s just go okay… I wanna get back to bed,” I conceded her challenge. And yes… all I really wanted was to get back in bed. I’m so damn tired.

Asuka breathed a sigh of disappointment then she turned to Hikari and bid her farewell. I waved too when we started walking back home.


We walked I silence for a couple of minutes. I could feel Asuka’s tiredness. And so I wanted to lighten the atmosphere a bit by starting a conversation. We’re still a few blocks away from our apartment anyway. It wouldn’t hurt.

“So… what did you do at Hikari’s place?”


A sigh.

Then finally the redhead started, “Nothing… just some girly stuff…”

Yep, Asuka’s tired. I glanced at her and I noticed the way her head was slightly bowed, her shoulders were drooping. Then I looked at her. She was wearing her usual school uniform. And she wore a brown jacket that she must have borrowed from Hikari. She frowned at me.

“What are you looking at?” Asuka asked with irritation, saying ‘leave me alone’.

And something warmed inside me. I’m not really sure what it was.

“Stop looking at me like that you stupid!” Asuka said now with a hint of warning telling me to stop whatever it was I’m thinking.

But I didn’t.

I realized that we were still three blocks away from Katsuragi’s apartment. The alleyway we walked into was a little dark and the only post lamp was still a distance away. The night was cold and somehow I felt warm. The houses that surrounded us were all a block away from the alleyway wall. No lights. Everybody’s asleep. The whole town was asleep. And the roads were empty.

It was perfect.

And I’m aroused.

I’m aroused because of the atmosphere.


I stared at Asuka.

“I told you to stop…”

I couldn’t hold it any longer.

I dashed towards her with my right hand on her lips, my left hand on her back. I quickly pushed her on the alleyway wall. It was dark, faintly illuminated by a weak lamp post a distance away. No one would see us.

I removed my hand then I kissed her with all the lust I could give.

I could see the confusion, anger and fear on Asuka’s eyes as she started kicking and bashing her arms wildly. I pinned her with my hands and my lower body. I pushed my crotch on hers so she wouldn’t be able to kick me between my legs.

And I kissed her as wildly as I listened to her moan and muffled incoherent screams.

I released her right hand as she started punching at my back, then I used my free hand to grope her, cupping her breasts, feeling her softness. I unceremoniously shoved my hand inside her top, and I guess I ripped several buttons as my hand managed to get inside and finally feel the smoothness of her skin. I was aroused even more when I felt her bra. Then I gently moved my hand inside the bra to feel her breasts’ skin and nipple.

Her nipple was hard.

Then I felt her tremble when I pinched the hardness of her nipples.

I stopped kissing her and I drew my head away then she started screaming, “STOP! STOP! STOP!”

I covered her mouth with my left hand and so now both of Asuka’s hands were free, punching ferociously at my back, but I ignored the pain.

Driven with lust and uncontrollable urge, I ripped her uniform open so I could taste her breasts. I managed to expose her left nipple. I bent down with a hand on Asuka’s mouth, and another on her right arm as I sucked.

I heard her moan.

I kept on sucking.

Then I nuzzled my face on the softness of her left breast, licking all the while the smooth skin, the soft mound, the hardness of the nipple.

I stood and kissed her again.

I began thrusting my crotch on to hers trying to push her legs apart. I could feel the softness between her legs.

Then with an unfamiliar strength, I turned her around. She was now facing the wall with her back facing me.

I have my right hand on her mouth and my left hand was still caressing her breasts as I pushed my crotch on her bottom. I pinned her onto the wall.

I used my left hand to raise her skirt and into hems of her panties.

I could almost hear her beg not to continue.

I was aroused even more, as I started licking the back of her neck, whispering all the while, “Just one time…”

My left hand managed to feel inside her panties and there I noticed that she was wet.

I felt for a hole and I found a wet sticky little entry and there I pushed my finger deeper.

Asuka trembled.

I couldn’t take it anymore and so I took my left hand out and started taking my pants off. It fell down on the ground with my penis as hard as a rock standing out in the cold night.

I guided my penis inside the skirt and into the wet sticky hole and when I finally have the head of my penis into the opening, Asuka stopped struggling. She froze as if waiting.

I could feel the heat. I could feel the moist between her legs.

Then I thrust inside.

Asuka screamed beneath my hand and trembled.

And I went deeper inside her.

Asuka trembled even more and bent over. Pushing her waist back at me.

And then I released both my hands and placed them on her waist as I gave one savage thrust after another and all the while Asuka moaned. She didn’t scream, she didn’t shout, she just kept moaning as I kept on thrusting. She has her arms stretched out on to the wall to support her, her head low as she kept moaning.

And I kept thrusting wildly.

And after a few minutes I felt Asuka tightened and then she let out a stifled scream as she crumpled on to the ground. She shook in her orgasm.

But I wasn’t done yet.

I spread Asuka wide on the ground and faced her to me.

I placed her legs on my shoulder, raising her pelvis higher, I entered her again.

This time Asuka let out a gasp as I began thrusting.

And all that time she kept whispering between her moans, “Give it to me Shinji, give it to me, give it to me….” Her hands were wrapped around my neck.

Then I exploded inside.

Asuka this time let out a scream.

And I crumpled on top of her.


We managed to return at Katsuragi’s apartment. I carried Asuka all the way. For some reason, she couldn’t walk and couldn’t speak. She was shocked. So was I.

I helped her settled on her bed and for the first time I saw what I did to her.

Asuka’s hair was covered with dirt and grime. Her top was ripped open and some buttons were missing. Her arms and legs were dirty and her skirt was crumpled. On the side of her right leg I could see a line of color. Then I realized it was dried blood.

She was a virgin.

I realized what I did.

I just raped Asuka.

I raped Asuka.

I felt ashamed. I felt extreme guilt watching her stare into space lying in her bed, with lifeless eyes. And so I lied beside her and looped my arms around her waist and rested my head on her shoulder.

“I’m so sorry… Asuka… I’m so sorry…” I whispered as I tightened my hold wanting her to speak.

And she was silent.

Then she sighed.

“So you think I’m a slut now… do you? Now that you had me…” she whispered.

“No… that’s not I at all… I… the truth is… I want you Asuka… I really do…”

“So what now? You’ll leave me right? And why would you stay… you just had me…”

“No… I… I want to stay with you…”

Then I moved my hand inside her top again to touch her breast. Asuka moaned.

I whispered, “I can’t have enough of you…”

And I started kissing her neck. As I snaked my other hand between her legs.

Then Asuka whispered back, “Do you want to take a shower with me?”

Personal experience.