NERV Cosmetics: Rest Period 2 - Me and My Symbiote



I do not own the characters, organisations or other material used in this story. Shin Seiki Evangelion and Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon are copyright to their respective owners. I am using the aforementioned copyrighted material without license for purposes of parody. Please do not take legal actions against me, for I have nearly no money. This story contains references to and actual scenes of consensual and/or non-consensual sex involving underage characters. If you are offended by such material, please do not read further. The parody contained in the story relies mostly on twisting the acts and personalities of characters from Evangelion and Sailor Moon. If you are offended by such material, please do not read further. This story includes adult language and swearwords. If you are offended by such material, please do not read further. If you are underage in your place of residence, please do not read further. If you are none of the aforementioned, you are legally able to read this story. I am not responsible for anyone's decision to disregard these warnings, or any results thereof.


These are thoughts, I think.

This is a word with stress put on it.

”Now I'm speaking”, I told the readers, ”And I'm stressing a word here.”

Hello, this is an Eva speaking/thinking. The same thing, basically. Yes, i can stress a word!

Author's Notes, part 1:

Welcome back. This chapter's going to be a bit boring, lots of intelligent conversation and developing the plot, and not much sex. I will now increase the amount of days covered per chapter from to 2 for this chapter, then return to my planned 1 chapter / 1 day rhythm. So this means that the two first chapters were Friday, and we'll have Saturday and Sunday here.

What am I babbling? You don't need to read this note. You're here for the story, right? You know, you can just skip the disclaimer and notes by starting to read from the bold part, the title. This one right here:

Rest Period 2 - Me and My Symbiote

Shinji was a little child again, standing in the doorway of his home. He had a heavy backpack and a decided expression. He was going to run away from home. He looked up the road from the door, and saw his father approaching. Shinji strode up to him and announced loudly: ”I'm going to run away! You can't stop me!” He waited to hear protests from his father.

Gendo looked down at his son and said in an even and cold voice: ”Fine. Do as you please.”

Shinji was dumbfounded. Didn't his father care? Gendo walked around him and walked to the door of their home. He opened it and was about to step inside. Shinji couldn't take it. He had wanted, needed to be noticed by his father for at least once. If running away from home was not enough, nothing probably was. He watched the door closing behind his father, and a sense of great loss overwhelmed him. He tried to shout out one word; Wait was all he needed to say. But somehow his words came out as a mumble, as if his mouth was blocked. The door closed with a final thud.

Shinji opened his eyes with a start. A dream. About how it happened, all those years ago. He heard steps from one side and turned to look at Misato. She was standing next to the bed fully clothed, leaning close. She asked: ”What was that? Did your weird noise mean that you want me to remove the gag?”

It all came back to Shinji. The experiment, the penguin, the rape. Oh fuck. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck fuck. Shit. His arms were still tied behind his back, and he was naked. All he could do was nod. Misato untied the sock holding the gag in place and Shinji spat out the panties. His mouth was dry, and he could barely form one word on his lips. ”Shit.” Then he remembered who he was with, and rolled away from Misato until he fell off the other end of the bed. ”Get away from me, you psycho!” he croaked with his dry throat.

Misato acted as if she had not heard his words and turned to leave, calling out over her shoulder: ”I'm going to buy us some breakfast. Be right back.” Shinji heard the door close.

Shinji let out a deep sigh. What am I going to do now?

He wasn't expecting an answer, but was offered no choice as a familiar voice rang from within his head. Wait until she comes back?

”What the hell?”

Remember me? I'm Evangelion Unit 01, your symbiote.

”I'm not hearing anything. I'm not hearing anything.” Shinji repeated quietly. Must be a neurosis or something, just too much pressure.

You got some nerve there, boy, calling me a neurosis. I'm here to help you, boy.

Shinji was astounded. You can read my thoughts?

I'm In your thoughts, boy. And as I was saying, I want to help you. I know this whole thing has come as a shock to you and all that, but all enlightenment—

Enlightenment? Are you a fucking angel or something?

The youth these days… always intrrupting, always full of questions the Evangelion seemed to mutter. And I'm most definitely not an angel, though I'm well acquaintanced with fucking. You see, I'm an active symbiote called an Evangelion, and my passive counterparts are called Angels. Got it, boy? Also, I'm a manly man, as far as my personality is concerned. The voice did sound distinctly male, and carried the tones of an experienced fellow explaining the truth behind matters to a youngster.

Shinji was too dumbfounded to even question his sanity anymore. Okay. So you say you're here to help me. Can you get my arms free? The pantyhose was as tight as it had been when Misato had fucked him.

No, and I'm sorry, but right now it is better if we can have a little guidance session without disturbations like untying. So here we go: describe last night.

Guidance? Well, I think I can use any mental support now… Great, mental support from a mental disorder. Okay, last night I was raped—

Ah. It seems we will have to start with the basics. You say she raped you. Was it unpleasant?

What the hell do you mean? She fucking tied me down and fucked me! Shinji mentally shouted.

What I mean is, did you get pleasure from her activities? Did you come? A short silence. See, it wasn't that bad, boy.

What do you know about it? Shinji was angry now. He didn't ask for some symbiote to come and mess up his mind.

Oh, I know everything. I was there, when you fucked her ass. Did a nice job of it, too, but you really should ask ladies first before you pull a stunt like that. It's bad manners, boy, to fuck a girl in the ass without asking her, that's my motto.

It's not like that, honestly! I don't know what came over me, it wasn't me doing those things! Shinji had fallen back to defensive positions.

It's okay, boy, she seemed to enjoy it a fair bit. After that surprise, though, I'm pretty certain she's going to come asking for more, If you know what I mean? Come, asking for more, eh heh heh. The Evangelion sounded amused.

Oh, cut that, um… What should I call you?

Well, I don't really have a name, boy, but you can call me Vincent. Uncle Vincent, if you like, though I'm more of a - well, no point in telling you that.

Shinji contemplated this for a moment. Okay, Vincent. But I'm not calling you uncle, it's bad enough to be talking to a parasite, but calling it uncle would be way off the edge.

Vincent sounded dismayed. First, I'm not a parasite, I'm a symbiote. Remember that, boy; I give something in return. Second, I'm a he, not an it. I've got personality, see, and all that stuff. His voice returned to normal. So, can you accept the fact that Misato didn't exactly rape you? I'm not telling you to love her or anything that restricting, just try to act civil towards her. Shinji nodded mentally, attempting to look sour in his mind. Let me tell you something. There's an unused room in this apartment, and you could make that your room. Buy a mattress and a padlock, eh?

Humph. Okay, I guess I can live with it for now. Shinji was still sour but this was progress. He could feel how Vincent mentally smiled.

I bet if things had been different, you'd have only dreamed of having sex with her, boy, and probably mastur— meditated on the subject. Repeatedly. It's not every day a boy like you gets to fuck such a babe like that Misato. The scary thing was that Shinji had to agree.

But no more sex with her.

Soon Misato came back, and after being released and getting dressed Shinji was cautious and tense, but agreed to eat with Misato. They had cup ramen; Shinji suspected that this was as good as one could expect from the slacker woman.

Then they went out to town, where they bought a mattress, a pillow, and the necessary sheets. Shinji dragged Misato to a hardware store, where he bought attachments for a lock. Their final destination was the locksmith's, where Shinji picked a large steel lock. Misato wondered about this, and Shinji had no choice but to pull her aside and quietly whisper that he wasn't going to have sex with Misato anymore, and needed to lock his room to feel secure. Misato's reaction was slightly exaggerated.

”What? You don't want to have sex with me anymore?” she shouted, attracting the attention of everyone in the shop. Shinji tried to quiet her down, but she loudly continued along this line: ”Wasn't it good enough for you? I even let you have my… you know… the other place, you were the first man I let enter my exit door, and this is how you repay me?” Customers were beginning to snicker, and Shinji's face was beyond simply red; it was skirting the edges of purple.

Even the shop attendant was laughing at him. ”You can have the lock for free”, the young man said to Shinji. ”Sounds like you really need it.”

Shinji mumbled a quick thank you and exited the shop post-haste. When he reached the street he turned to the trailing Misato, who looked as if she was going to say something. Shinji lifted one finger in front of her mouth. ”Please, Misato. Don't do that again. It was so embarrassing.”

Misato smiled innocently. ”It's just payback for me being em-bare-assed last night.”

Shinji jumped as he heard Vincent's laughter inside his head. That's just so funny, boy. She's a real good person. And the shouting thing too, I think she pulled that one just to make fun of you. Boy, I really like this girl.

Shut up! Shinji commanded his symbiote, then returned his attention to the outside. ”Whatever. Just don't do that again.”

Misato told Shinji that their neighbours were professional renovators, and he could ask them for help. He timidly went and rang their doorbell. The door was opened by a middle-aged man, who had a Mario-like appearance. Shinji explained his business, and the man, Biggs by name, said: ”Sure, I'll just get me tools and me assistant, and we'll be right over.” The man was apparently a foreigner, judging by his western looks and accent. He turned his head and shouted over his shoulder. ”Wedge, get yer butt over `ere.” Biggs turned back to Shinji and told him in a hushed voice: ”An' remember, not a word to our boss about this li'l job. `e don't want us doin' favours, ya know?” He winked an eye and closed the door.

In less than half an hour Shinji had fortified himself into the previously deserted room. He began to arrange his stuff to their new locations, finally placing his computer on the table. It was a compact model, not a mighty machine, but it could manage the tasks it had to. He searched out the network plug in the room and connected a cable from the back of his computer to the socket. A speed test indicated a massive internal company network, with all computers and servers behind a security barrier, and a slowish external connection. Shinji decided that he needed something to calm his mind, so he checked all his email addresses - just a whole lot of spam - and then closed the computer. He was not in the mood for surfing the `net.

Shinji took an old-fashioned CD from his shelf and placed it into a CD player that was at least 15 years old. He put on the earphones and lied down on his mattress. Soon the soothing first beats were heard. When the song started, Shinji began to sing along with the lyrics inside his head.

In emat ua in atana ibatatuf

ad ukkab iib uria ed nusay uzam otih

usamiru usamesim adam adam

ianukishanak ettad ianesim aw adiman.

What the heck was that, boy? A Satanic chant or something?

Relax, Vincent. It's just ordinary Japanese played backwards. ”Futari no Gomen ne” from the Excel Saga - one of the late 20th century TV series - soundtrack, to be exact. I edited it myself. A significant amount of pride was evident in Shinji's thoughts.

Right. Shinji felt Vincent listening through his ears. Boy, that beat-lyric combination makes it sound like some native African song mixed with pop music.

I know. But wait `till you hear this… Shinji pressed the `next' button on the player, and an oddly familiar tune began to play. Card Captor Sakura, first season opening theme ”Catch You Catch me”, Shinji informed Vincent.

When the singing began, Vincent couldn't hold back his laughter.

Shinji took the rest of Saturday in a true slacker fashion. He lied down, listened to music, and ordered pizza. The latter, however, proved slightly problematic. The pizza delivery man only came up to the front door of the building, and Shinji wasn't sure if he could even find the elevator. This was solved by Vincent announcing that he knew the way, and he guided them all the way with unerring accuracy. Misato wondered how Shinji could have learned the way so easily, but Shinji sharply pointed out that it wasn't as hard as she thought, she just didn't have a proper sense of direction. Misato pouted for a minute, but regained her friendly attitude as Shinji said he would pay for her pizza, too.

After the pizza, Shinji retreated to his room to surf the Internet. He checked out the newest nodes on everything2, voted for a minor law at Cyber-Yugoslavia, and checked for new manga releases. Then he remembered that he would have to register at a school in Tokyo-3. Even this was easily accomplished online, and he found out he only had the next Monday of summer leave before school would start. Then he went to bed, having nothing better to do. And besides, he liked to think of sleeping as his hobby. He could sleep even under the most straining circumstances, and more than twelve hours per night. Consequently, he could often stay up all night without losing much of his concentration. Tonight, he had nothing meaningful to do, so he slipped into a deep, healing sleep.

Shinji grunted as he emptied his seed into Misato's rapidly clenching and unclenching asshole. He fell down backwards, and was just about to hit the floor—

Shinji bounced up in bed. Whew. That was a weird dream. The golden rays of morning filtered through the blinds, creating stripes of light across the room. He felt the telltale stains of sperm in his boxers. ”Eww.” Shinji went to the bathroom with the intention of cleaning himself.

Shinji glanced at his watch. Damn, forgot to take it off when I went to sleep. It was half past eight, and the ten hours of sleep had imprinted the watch's shape on Shinji's wrist in relief. He rubbed the sore area of skin and threw his watch onto the bathroom table. Then he peeled off his soiled boxers, dumping them in the laundry basket. Shinji went to the shower and turned on the hot water, closing the frosted glass door after him. He washed his privates, and his mind wandered back to the dream. Shinji remembered Misato's tight cavity and firm buttocks, and his cock twitched. He ended the streaming of water. Absent-mindedly Shinji took shower cream onto his palm and started to rub it over the swelling flesh of his manhood. He closed his eyes and savoured the sensation of his soaped hand slipping slowly up and down his shaft. He was so preoccupied, that he did not notice he was no longer alone. On the other hand, the other one did not notice him either, since the water was not running.

Misato opened the frosted shower door, coming face to face with a masturbating Shinji, who was yanked back to reality by the sound. Misato calmly stepped in, closing the door behind her. It was very crowded in the shower. Shinji tried to hold his arms in front of Misato's body to not see her sexual areas and keep her away while stuttering out: ”M-m-Misato? What are you doing?” He realised the position of his limbs left his body bare to Misato's gaze, and pulled both hands down to cover his erection. This, in turn, left him looking at her bare breasts, but he dared not close his eyes in fear that Misato might try something.

Misato smiled as she looked at Shinji's embarrassment, pushing out her chest a bit more as she thought: He's doing it all himself, I just have to stand here and he just messes the situation further. Aloud she said: ”My, Shinji, what were you doing?”

”Get out!” he managed to say. The situation was getting really uncomfortable, as the shower was not large enough to properly accommodate two persons. Shinji was only inches away from Misato.

The woman smiled silently and turned on the water. The droplets running over her smooth skin, dropping from her nipples, streaming together to flow down the insides of her thighs, captivated Shinji's gaze. After running her hands slowly up her sides to cup her breasts and squeeze them lightly, she closed the tap. Misato reached over for the shower cream, which she leisurely poured directly on her bust. She began to massage it into her skin, caressing her large breasts with both hands. Misato closed her eyes as she kneaded her mounds of flesh with her soapy fingers. She took her nipples between her thumbs and forefingers, tweaking them as she moaned lustily.

Shinji could take no more. He turned around to face the wall. Hopefully I can get away just by hearing her do… that, and she'll let me go. Even as Shinji thought this he knew it to be a slim hope.

Misato bowed down to wash her legs, and as she did so, she lowered her head onto Shinji's shoulder. Her soapy breasts mashed into his back as she raised her right leg to be washed. She placed it between Shinji's thighs, the sole of her foot against the wall in front of him, and reached around his body to wash it. Her arms nearly touched Shinji's dick, and her thigh was touching his balls. When she was finished with her right leg, she slid it backwards between his thighs, her foot stroking his crotch. Then Misato repeated the ritual with her left leg. After both legs were firmly on the tiled floor, she wrapped her soapy arms around Shinji's waist.

All this time Shinji had been too afraid to move, but now he yelped and tried to wiggle his way out of Misato's arms. His squirming rubbed Misato's slippery front against his back, and he felt her nipples tightening and hardening as they slid across his shoulder blades. His manhood was throbbing with desire, but his mind was rebelling.

Misato moaned. ”Shinji, you're making me… ahh…” Her legs slowly gave away and she sat down, pulling Shinji with her. He used all of his limbs to push himself up, sliding his body between Misato's arms and bust. The soapy, sliding sensation felt arousing, but he steeled his mind. Unfortunately for him, Shinji was caught by his protruding dick. Misato held the shaft with her both hands as she moved around his body, letting him stand up completely. Misato asked: ”Oh, is this for me?”

Shinji tried to object, but Misato did not wait. She lapped up the shaft with her tongue, then kissed the tip. He was burning with passion and could no longer deny his manhood its release. With a desperate jerk he pushed the tip of his tool between her lips as his hands grasped for support from the walls. Misato moaned into it and began bobbing her head in the oral tradition that was older than speech. Her wet mouth slid eagerly up and down his shaft, her tongue alternating between wide licks and sharp poking. Shinji grasped Misato's hair and began to push down as he thrust his hips forward, but this was not enough for him anymore. He pulled Misato's head up and away from him and told her between heavy breaths: ”Use your breasts.”

Misato nodded eagerly. He's getting wild. She lifted her body a bit higher and grasped her soapy mounds. Misato put them on both sides of his cock and began pumping up and down. She milked his tool by squeezing her slippery mounds tighter on every upward motion. Shinji moaned, still not taking his eyes off from the bust that was giving him such pleasure. Shinji sensed he was nearing the edge, and grunted the standard warning: ”Cumming…” but continued: ”Can I do it on your face?”

Wild indeed, Misato thought as she nodded. She licked the tip of his manhood and doubled the speed of her mammary motions. When she felt the throbbing, she pulled away from his body. The thick, white cream shot out of Shinji's dick and landed onto Misato's face. The following jets steadily decreased in distance, creaming her neck, breasts and belly. Shinji let out a deep breath and sat down on the floor of the shower, his legs going all the way around Misato.

Misato was not finished yet. She took the bottle of shower cream and poured liberal amounts over herself and Shinji. Then she rubbed it on his body to make every inch of his body slippery. He was too tired to resist. Then Misato soaped her own body, Shinji's cum mixing with the cream, taking a moment to push a middle finger up her butt to lubricate that area, too. Misato moaned, but remembering that she had someone else to please, pulled out the finger.

Shinji was returning to reality as he saw Misato's shaven pussy directly in front of his face. Said pussy was swinging left and right as Misato moved her body in an erotic, swaying dance. She ran her heads down her chest to her ample breasts, which she kneaded and stroked. The angle made her mounds seem even larger.

Misato moved her hands down her sides to her hips, and slowly slid one hand between her legs. She opened the lips with two fingers, so that Shinji could see inside. A droplet of her cum trickled down one thigh. Then she moved her hand so that the first and fourth fingers were holding the wet petals apart, and the remaining two slid to the entrance and through it. Misato stifled a moan as she curled her fingers upwards. She turned around and bowed her body, so that her butt was pointing straight at Shinji, and he saw her fingers sliding in and out of her body.

The man in Shinji could not stand being ruthleslly teased like this. He pulled his legs under him and sat on his heels, and then grabbed Misato's butt with both hands. He put one thumb to the exit of her metabolism and quickly thrust it in all the way. He began to pump it in and out, extracting more moans from Misato. He stretched his tongue closer to her pussy, and with nimble movement of the slimy appendage, slid it past Misato's hand to her lips. She pulled away her hand and started working on her breasts. Meanwhile, Shinji continued the movements of his thumb and mouth. He slid his free hand down Misato's buttock, around her thigh, and past her pussy. He placed his thumb on her clitoris and began to press and massage it carefully.

Misato was barely suppressing her moans and other miscellaneous noises, as Shinji increased the intensity of his three-point attack. Combined with the sensations her nipples were creating while being pulled and twisted, it was driving her towards the edge at an increasing pace. Shinji sensed this and as he was not being pleasured, had enough time to actually think: I wonder how I know how far she is from the edge… He doubled the efforts of his tongue, pushing it deeper and deeper into the wet and slippery cave, until it nearly reached Misato's womb. She screamed: ”Do it harder, Shinji, harder, faster, deeper!” He did not deny Misato her wish.

Misato came quickly, shaking with the most intense orgasm of her life. She leaned heavily against the wall of the shower and slid down to the floor. Shinji drew his tongue out of Misato's pussy, but something seemed to be very wrong. He pulled out further, but he could see his tongue still inside her. Shinji jumped away from her, slamming his back against the wall, and grabbed his tongue with both hands. Sometime during the licking it had elongated, and was now approximately a foot long, ending in a sharp tip.

Shinji screamed. ”Wat the Heww?” His voice was distorted by the tongue hanging out of his mouth. He could feel his both hands on the slimy surface, and he could move it. He released his grip and used the muscles in the pink appendage to lift it's tip to eye level for inspection. It seemed authentic. ”Intewwefftinn.”

Shinji fainted.

Who am I?

Oh, come on, boy. You don't need to ask that every time.

Oh. Okay. Uh… Should I try to wake up?

Not quite yet. Boy, you really should get to know your body better. It won't do if you fainted every time you see your own tongue.

But that wasn't a human limb! They're not supposed to be a foot long.

You're partially right, boy. It might be more accurate to say our tongue.

What? You made that… thing? Shinji disliked people messing with his thoughts, but he still did not know how to properly relate to people messing with his body, especially when the intruder also shared it as an abode for his mind.

You could say that. Well, you thought you wanted to go deeper, right? And besides, isn't it cool?

But I can't speak with a tongue like that. Shinji was worried about other things, too, but held that inside him as well as he could, keeping them away from Vincent.

You can just suck it in, boy. Nobody needs to know about that little extra length.

Can I get rid of it? Shinji could already guess the answer. That was the benefit of sharing a brain.

No. But you don't have to use it again, if you don't like it.

I'd like a bit of time for myself now, please. Shinji tried to separate Vincent from his mind. He faced a faceless resistance, that tried to keep them together, but slowly shoved Vincent back to the corner of his mind where he had found him, and closed the contact. A little thread still connected them, but Shinji covered that with a mental firewall, that prevented connections from the other side. That's better. Shinji returned to the problem.

What am I? I'm obviously not human anymore. I'm not human. The thought felt distant. I'm some sort of monster. I'm not a human but a monster. I have to hide it from everybody. But now… He awakened.

Then the full meaning of his thoughts came crushing to his head. ”I'm not a human.” It was as if a cold hand was squeezing his heart. He was not a human, and could never be one again. I've become a monster. He got up, cleaned his body in the shower, and dried himself. As he was dressing up, he became conscious of somebody trying to say something. Apparently it was Misato. I don't have time for her concern now. Shinji sucked in his tongue, finding it easy, almost natural - I'm an unnatural beast - to hold it at a normal length. She can be of some use. ”Misato, who can tell me about Evangelion?”

Misato was briefly silenced by Shinji's cold voice. It was void of all emotion. ”Ritsuko is the head researcher. I saw her yesterday and she said she was going to see Rei, that other Eva host, in the infirmary today. It's on floor…” Misato thought about it. ”I can't remember.”

Shinji nodded. ”Thank you.” He opened the mental connection to Vincent. Guide me to the infirmary. The Eva complied without objections.

Shinji stepped into the infirmary. He had done a lot of thinking and talking to his Eva on the way, but Vincent would not reveal anything accurate about the Evangelions. He claimed he did not know, and Shinji was unable to probe the symbiote's mind; it's defences were perfect. It could only tell that it knew of one other person with an Eva: Rei Ayanami. Shinji hoped to find her conscious, and ask her about her experiences of this symbiote business. He had also come to accept that he was not normal, telling himself that a long tongue didn't make anyone a monster. I'm just different. And nobody needs to even know. He had also shaken off his cold determination in favour of a more human point of view.

Shinji spotted a young, female nurse, approximately his age, with two long, pink braids flowing down her back down to her knees. ”Excuse me, is uh… is Ritsuko here? The head of research?” Damn, what's her last name?

The girl smiled. ”Doctor Akagi? Down that corridor, the third door on the left. She is visiting a patient, but I think she has time for you, Ikari-sempai.”

Shinji was amazed. ”Huh? You know me?” Word sure does get around fast.

”Why yes, an official employee announcement was made just this Friday. I kept the picture of you, because you're so adorably cute.” She seemed perfectly honest.

”Um… er… thank you.” Shinji was blushing. Me, cute? ”I have to go now. See you.” He quickly turned before the girl had time to answer, and strode down the corridor.

He entered through the doorway to the room. It had only one bed and a chair. In the bed was the girl from Friday, Rei Ayanami. She was covered with a white sheet up to her armpits, and her hands were on top of the sheet. No bra straps crossed her shoulders. Shinji did not want to continue this train of thoughts right now, so he looked at the girl's face. Her eyes were closed and she had a calm expression, as if she was asleep.

Shinji walked closer to the bed and bowed down to look at the face of the sleeping girl. She was beautiful, in a serene, not-from-this-world kind of way. He bowed closer, and his lips opened as they approached hers.

”Good morning, Shinji Ikari.” Shinji bounced up, suddenly noticing that Ritsuko was sitting in the chair on the other side of the bed. ”I think it would be better to let her rest for now.” Her eyes were covered by glasses, that were mystically opaque despite the lack of a strong light source to reflect.

”I—I wasn't going to—” Shinji objected. Ritsuko raised an eyebrow, silencing him. I guess I blew that one. ”Actually, I'm here to meet you.”

Ritsuko nodded her head slightly, letting the reflection effect disappear. Does she really control those glasses? Shinji thought. This woman creeps me out.

”So, Shinji-kun, what did you want to talk about? Did my warning about Misato hit the spot?”

Shinji thought it best to keep some things hidden beneath the surface, and that included his adventures with the older woman. ”Truth is, I came to ask about Vin— Evangelion. Is it supposed to make me different?”

Ritsuko nodded. ”Yes. There are various mental and hormonal differences, of which all are harmless. Most of them are actually useful even outside research environments. Are there any particular effects that bother you?”

Shinji hesitated, then remembered that if he wanted help, he would have to tell about his problem first. ”Are there any physical changes?”

”At this point, there should be none. Maybe I should explain this from the beginning.” Ritsuko cleared her throat. ”When you were a child, you were equipped with an Evangelion unit. It consists of four components. The first is a cyber-organic testicle, which has replaced one of your own. It has increased production and storage capability compared to a natural one, and the ability to secrete higher levels of testosterone over shorter periods of time than its biological counterpart, but it takes practice to access its complete functions.

”The second component is another replacement organ installed to the place where your right kidney would be. It is merely an improved version of the original creation of evolution, with more maximum output and a few extra hormonal activities.

”The third part is the most important. It is an embedded versatile auxiliary brain, EVA brain for short, but dubbed Evangelion by my co-workers. It is a half-cicular disk that is positioned between the halves of your brain. A wide connection bridge attaches it to the rest of your brain. It has control over the two previous components, but will by default match their action with the original organs. During the first test on Friday, we started up the connection by remote. Have you reached the interface?”

Shinji had a distinct feeling about this interface's identity. ”What is he… it like?”

”In short, it is a personality emulation. It attempts to sound like a human of some sorts. The basic structure is pre-programmed, but most of it's data is stored into and retrieved from your mind. You share brain processing power, memory, and other things, but if it works correctly, the EVA brain will keep your thoughts, memories, and personalities apart. Have you received contact to the interface?”

Shinji sighed with relief. I'm not going mad. ”Yes. Vincent has been very helpful.”

Ritsuko raised an eyebrow. ”Vincent? You named him that?”

”Actually he came up with it.”

”He? Wanted a name? That is unexpected. It was supposed to act as a feeling-free entity. Has it done anything else human?” Ritsuko's glasses had glazed over again.

”Well… He has a sense of humour.” Now what else… ”And he got angry, when I called him a parasite.”

”You keep calling it a he. Why is that?”

Suddenly Vincent joined the conversation by commanding: Tell her that I'm not an it. I'm a personality, and a male one. And I told you to call me a he.

”Vincent told me to tell you that he is a person, and a man. And he doesn't like being called an it any more than I would.” Shinji stood up for his friend, slowly beginning to doubt the wisdom in defying this creepy woman with the glazed glasses, as she held her silence.

Finally she dug into her handbag, saying: ”I will talk to this Vincent myself.” She pulled out an electronic gadget of a sort. It looked like a palm computer with a connection wire ending in a suction cup, probably because that's what it was. ”Take off your shirt.”

Shinji had an odd feeling that this was not going to end well. Every time since he came here taking off his shirt had resulted in something unexpected. Nevertheless, he obeyed the doctor. I wouldn't even consider saying no to her…

Ritsuko attached the suction cup to Shinji's left shoulder blade. ”The fourth component is a connection device under your skin here. In addition to providing a maintenance link, the EVA can connect to security networks in all SEELE-owned company buildings to download blueprints and directions.”

So that was the way he knew where to go and how to get to the surface. Shinji felt a tickling sensation in the area of skin covered by the suction cup as Ritsuko pressed a button on her palm computer.

Okay, I'm going to keep this little talk between me and doc, so you just sit quiet, boy.

Shinji sat down and waited as Ritsuko communicated with the Evangelion. When she shut down the connection and removed the cord, her mouth was slightly curved in what might be a smile. ”It seems I do not need to take action against this Vincent. His aberration from the central program is minor. Tomorrow you will continue to learn with him. We will proceed with teaching you to synchronise with Vincent and through him, control your hormonal levels consciously.”

”Okay. What will tomorrow's test be like?” I hope it's like… No! Keep your cool. I should hope that it's something normal.

”You will see. For now, you should concentrate on writing your report on Friday's test. Your father will want at least eight hundred words, not counting articles.”

”Oh, cr… uh, sorry. I forgot the whole thing.” Shinji grabbed his shirt and turned to leave. ”I'd better be going. See you.” He did not get far.

”Shinji-kun, one more thing.” He turned to see an unusually amused look on Ritsuko's face. ”Can I see that foot-long tongue?”

Shinji considered this. ”As a doctor, you can reveal nothing to outsiders, right?” Ritsuko nodded. ”Okay.” Shinji rolled out his tongue. He wiggled it around a bit and then lifted it to wave goodbye and left the room. He thought he heard a light chuckle from the doctor, but dismissed it as a figment of his imagination. She's not the kind of person to laugh at this.

He saw someone enter the corridor in front of him, and sucked in his tongue. The young nurse he had met earlier smiled the sunny eyes-closed smile common to all anime nurses and said: ”Hi!” in the standard cheery voice common to all anime nurses. Then she opened her eyes and looked at Shinji's chest. ”Oh my… did the doctor do weird things to you too?”

Shinji quickly put his shirt back on and tried to hide his blush. ”No, nothing happened. And what do you mean, me too?” Had the doctor been abusing the universal trust received by people who wore uniforms? Maybe she had… A picture rose into Shinji's mind, where Ritsuko turned to a young woman with her glasses gleaming and said: ”Now take off your clothes…” He quickly tried to get rid of that mental image, to forget it completely, but Vincent snatched it and placed it in his part of Shinji's memory brain cells.

”Oh my… So you haven't heard the rumours? I think I should warn you. The doctor has been associated with talk of weird and perverted tests going on in the floors below B-27…” Her face was suddenly very serious, and the tone of her voice had changed to a sinister whisper. Then she snapped back. ”But of course they can't be true. Yes, just rumours. Oh ho ho.” The laugh seemed faked.

With an uneasy mind, Shinji walked back to the apartment he shared with Misato. I hope I won't have to put up with two perverted women…

Author's Notes, part 2:

I actually have the songs mentioned in this chapter, the ones that are listened by Shinji. I reversed them myself, and they are extremely funny, I tell you. In my honest opinion, the CCS opening is better backwards than normally, and a lot funnier. Do try it if you have the chance. The lyric bit that I have included is supposed to be pronounced by the Japanese rules (usamiru pronounced OO-sah-mee-roo), but that doesn't make much of a difference. It sounds African anyway.

Sleeping is my hobby, and I take it very seriously. It's not a laughing matter when I've stayed up until 3 a.m. on ten consecutive nights writing and reading fanfiction, so I really do sometimes sleep 14 hours straight, my record being somewhere around 17 hours. I have managed to sleep for three hours in a chair, two hours on the floor of a bus and two hours on a giant peabag.

The point is, I'm taking bits of myself to fill the blanks in Shinji's character. So flame me.

I don't have the faintest idea if fellatio is older than the ability to speak, but you can't prove me wrong.

So, how'd you like this plot-builder? Shocked? ROTFLYAO? Both? Hopefully at least amused. My guess is bored. Nothing much happened on the lemon side, except for the tongue bit. That scared even me. Well hell, most lemons don't have character development, except for women turning bisexual at the slightest provocation, which is the prelude of a typical male fantasy coming true. I'm not saying there won't be group orgies in my fic, but I'll try to justify it with plot elements.

And about the nature of Evangelions. There will be more secrets revealed, even after this chapter. After all, you still don't know where the components came from, and neither does Shinji. Now would be a good time to laugh like all mad scientists do when they talk about their secret plans, but I'm not into that kind of thing. Wait, I am! Gya ha ha! (Heidegger, type I laugh)

Kimera, Thank you for motivation, you were an essential factor in powering my last-night-before-leaving session. Kimmo, thank you for your valuable help here and there.

Now I'd better stop ranting. I really should make a web page for my rants, but I can't html yet.

See you next time, and check my Random Kuno fics, they're really short and won't take up much of your time. Worth reading, too, says Ranma. Yeah, his dad made him read weird fanfiction as another form of training, and slipped in my stuff, too. Yeah, Ranma came to thank me for being the only worthwile author in that pile of crap. Yeah, I'm lying blatantly, and not very good at it. No, you don't want to kill me just yet. Wait `til I'm finished with this story arc.