I'll Help Dry Your Tears: I'll Help Dry Your Tears ( Chapter 1 )
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, no money is being made. This is just for pure fun and enjoymen.
A/N: We all know this didn't really happen in the Evangelion series, but if it had, this is probably where it would have been, if Shinji had grown a back bone that is.
I'll Help Dry Your Tears
He was dead. She couldn't believe it he was dead.
Misato felt empty alone as she glanced about her apartment, less then twenty four hours ago she was wrapped in his loving arms, she could still remember the distinct smell of him, the way his hands felt on her. The way his kisses could send her mind soaring. The tears came again, she couldn't stop them. They were flowing freely down her cheeks. She pushed that message button on her answering machine again; his masculine voice filled her ears. She couldn't take it; the blue haired girl sank to her knees, pushing the button again and again.
"He knew he was going to die." Misato gasped out to no one in particular through her tears. She wanted to beat him to death for not telling her but that was impossible now. How she hated him and loved him at the same time. She hated him for not being here with her now, just when she had a chance to be happy it was ripped away from her.
Misato took in a painful breath, "Oh Kaji." Her chest, no more like her heart hurt. What was she going to do now, she was a strong and independent woman and now she felt absolutely helpless. She leaned against the table legs just staring off into nothingness, her tears still came yet she was silent.
Shinji, who was hiding in his room like usual started feeling guilty, he couldn't think of anything that would be of any help. He was useless; no one wanted him around, no one really needed him, they could always find someone new to pilot that giant Mecca of death. He knew his guardian was crying, she had lost someone she loved. But what could he do to help her? Nothing, absolutely nothing! Shinji placed his pillow over his head as he played around with his head set, trying to find a particular song that would drown out the sounds of Misato's crying.
The boy groaned when the batteries went dead, he did not need this bad luck now. He sat up from the bed and was relieved to find the sound of silence; no crying was going on in the next room. Shinji stood and went to his door sliding it open a crack, looking out. He didn't see anyone, when he had run away to his room; Misato was sitting at the kitchen table. 'Maybe she went to bed,' he thought to himself and he moved from his room into the kitchen, going to the drawer on the right side for fresh batteries. The site of Misato sitting on the floor startled him and he almost shrieked out loud.
He glanced at her for a moment, she was just staring. Her breathing was slow and her eyes never left the wall in back of him. Shinji stepped right in front of her, waving his hand in front of her face.
"Misato, are you all right?" He didn't get a reply, she simply kept staring. Shinji felt scared, what if she was losing her mind. He couldn't take that, not now. He wanted to run back into his room, away from this. Away from everything. Shinji had never seen her like this; he didn't know what to do. "Maybe you should go to bed, get some sleep." He suggested.
Misato blinked once and nodded slightly she tried to stand up from the floor but felt very weak and clung to the counter for support.
"Shinji, could you help me to my room." Her voice sounded strangled and raspy.
Shinji nodded, supporting her they headed to her room where he helped her sit down on the bed. Misato laid down flat on her back staring up at the ceiling for a moment, before turning over on her side facing the wall. Shinji sighed and hesitantly put his hand on her shoulder.
"I'm sorry Misato." He said quietly.
Misato turned over; looking at him her eyes were moist from the recent tears. "Don't be sorry Shinji; it's not your fault." She sat up a bit, "It was bound to happen, with the line of work Kaji was in; I'm not surprised it hadn't happened sooner." Her lower lip quivered a little as new tears were threatening to spill over.
Shinji then did something he never thought himself capable of doing, almost without thinking he sat down next to her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a comforting embrace. He felt her cling to him hard as she was crying so much that her whole body shook. He simply held her, letting his hands rub her back tenderly, letting her get it all out.
After a long half hour, Misato had stopped crying. It was then that Shinji noticed that she was asleep. He helped to lay her down on her back his face was inches from hers, his eyes scanned over her features, without really thinking about it, as if almost out of instinct he pressed his lips against her forehead, giving her a sweet kiss. He heard her breathing change a bit and a sigh managed to escape from her.
He didn't really understand why she had to suffer, Shinji thought it would be best if he left now, he tried to get up but Misato's arm shot out and she grabbed his. Shinji jumped a bit totally not expecting that, she was holding on tight, almost for dear life it seemed. She was sleeping so peacefully and he did not want to wake her. Shinji sighed, oh well it wouldn't hurt anything if he stayed in here one night. He lay down next to her, just staring up at the ceiling.
'Might as well get some sleep,' Shinji thought to himself, he reached up to the wall behind him and flipped the light switch off. Just as he was settling into sleep he felt Misato move, her head came down against his chest, and her leg was thrown over his and she snuggled really close. Shinji's eyes immediately opened and his heart beat sped up since a female figure was pressed so close to him, he gulped down a nervous breath of air.
"M Misato?" He was surprised at the husky sound of his voice. Shinji didn't get a response from her, he sighed with relief as she was still asleep. He lifted his hand and ran a hand through his hair, feeling a bit frustrated right now, a part of him wanted to get out of this position yet another part was urging him to stay put and enjoy the feel of a beautiful female pressed up against him. He gulped down another breath of air and his hand came down on her hip.
Shinji didn't realize what he was doing, his fingers, almost on their own, started massaging Misato's hip, and he heard her sigh again. He couldn't stop his hand from moving up her side, his eyes were focused on his fingers and he wanted to stop it, but he just couldn't. Something inside of him was aching to touch more of her and it was that part that was winning out here. His hand carefully and gently stroked her side, his palm which was shaking from nervousness reached around to pass over her breast, and Misato let out a soft moan. He wanted to experiment a little, but he also didn't want to wake her for if she woke up this would have to stop and he really didn't want to right now.
He carefully touched her clothed nipple between his fingers, gently pinching. Shinji heard her give off another sweet moan. He was starting to get really excited now, but not enough to become careless. Shinji noticed that as he played a bit with her breast her leg started to move, her knee was rubbing up and down getting achingly closer to his groin that it was his turn to let out a moan. Alarmed he slammed his palm over his mouth, had he been too loud? He glanced down at Misato's sleeping face and was relieved to find her still out.
Shinji wanted easier access to her, so he turned her over so that she was on her back and was careful not to wake her. He wondered what her skin tasted like, while keeping his eyes on her sleeping face he lowered his mouth to her shoulder, lightly kissing. Misato tasted interesting, he wanted more so he moved his mouth to her neck, growing a bit bolder he closed his mouth against her neck and sucked on the flesh there, getting yet another moan from Misato. He just couldn't resist as his hand lifted to carefully cup her breast.
His lips and mouth danced all over her neck, her shoulder as his hand growing more confident and as instinct took over more skilled. A voice that sounded distant alerted him and he felt like a royal asshole.
"Shinji?" Misato's sight was a little blurry from being woken up but she tried to focus on him all the same, "What are you doing?" She was breathless.
"Oh, my God, I am so sorry Misato, I I didn't mean." He had to get out of there, right now. He started to get up but he felt her grab onto his arm.
"Wait, its all right Shinji. I understand, you are young and your hormones were getting the better of you." Misato replied with a slight smile.
"So you aren't mad about me doing that?" His heart was still beating fast.
Misato nodded, "It actually felt nice." She said quietly.
"You mean you liked it?" Shinji was confused, here he was violating her and she liked it?
Misato noticed the confusion on his face, "Its just I don't think I'll ever feel loved again," She sniffled. "I just want the pain to go away, I want this all to be some kind of nightmare and I'll wake up and he'll be alive " She stopped
Shinji nodded, "I know, I'll miss him too."
"I just don't feel anything anymore, everything is numb." Misato took a breath, "And when I woke up to you touching me, I actually felt something. I want to feel more than the urge to cry."
He understood, for the first time in life Shinji did not feel like running away. He would help Misato the only way he could think of. He leaned down and kissed her.
This surprised her, she was not expecting this. Her mind started attacking her, he's just a kid, you're his guardian this is completely wrong. Yet she wasn't pushing him away, instead her arms went around him and her fingers fisted into the back of his shirt, hanging on to him.
Shinji suddenly pulled away, looking down at her. "Misato, can we you know is it all right?"
Misato was warmed to her toes at his innocence, "Does it matter?" She sat up looking right at him.
A million thoughts ran through his head, but not one of them stuck. "No it doesn't," Shinji leaned closer again, "I want to help dry your tears Misato, even if it's just one night." He nuzzled her neck a bit, "Please let me."
After taking a deep breath, Misato nodded. "All right."
Shinji didn't really know what he was doing, but that other part of him was taking over. He kissed her.
His mouth was gentle against hers as she let him kiss her; her fingers went up into his hair grabbing a hold of the back of it crushing his face harder against his. She wanted to feel more and her need was becoming stronger, more urgent. She ran her tongue against his lips, wanting to get inside. She heard Shinji gasp whether it was out of surprise she would never know, but his mouth opened and she pushed her tongue into his mouth, gently flicking against his, she kissed him slowly this way he seemed to get the hang of it because he began to kiss her back.
Wow, Shinji liked kissing her. So he kept going, his hands needed somewhere to go, so the pressed against her shoulders, moving downward over her breasts, both of them let out a moan. Shinji wanted to get into her shirt, his hands trembled as his fingers went to the buttons on her shirt. Her hands came up and covered his, helping to get the buttons undone. The garment was then pushed from her body and next his eyes found that her brassier clasped in the front. He watched as Misato's fingers went to that front clasp and it popped open.
Shinji's eyes went wide as his hand reached up and moved the brassier material out of the way, his hand coming in contact with her soft breast. He suppressed a moan, great fates she was beautiful. He listened as her breathing picked up with his light touching. His hand cupped her bear breast, where he started to massage it. He heard Misato softly cry out.
"How does that feel?" He asked, unsure.
"Really good." She felt him start to do the same thing with her other breast. Her head went back and she felt his mouth on her neck, kissing up and down. Misato buried her fingers into his hair again. She felt his hesitancy a little as his mouth ventured down lower. Shinji experimentally let his lips close over her very sensitive nipple, and she let out a strangled moan.
"God Shinji " She sucked in a breath
Getting a good response, he continued his tongue flicked against the sensitive tip which was held in between his lips. She started to squirm a bit and he rather liked that, he reached up with his other hand and caressed her other breast. She was making interesting noises and it pressed him on.
Shinji's mouth moved back up to hers, where he kissed her hard. He was getting into this more and more. Misato had opened her mouth to him as her thrust his tongue into her mouth letting it mix with hers. She groaned into his mouth as his kisses became more confident, Misato pressed her body up against his, rubbing him everywhere. Shinji felt his pants becoming much too tight now.
Misato felt like she was on fire, she needed to feel him inside her. She pushed herself up against him urgently, hoping he would get the idea.
After their clothing had been discarded Shinji gazed down at her glorious naked body. His hands roamed over her body, down her sides to the V that separated her thighs, she let out a whimper as his fingers neared her womanhood. Thinking that she must like that, he lets his fingers press in between her legs, she let out a strange purring like sound and opened her legs a little more giving him more access to her neither regions.
Shinji was amazed, she felt so soft unsure he inserted his finger into her warmth and she cried out. He experimented a little, his instincts told him what to do more and he pushed his finger in and out of her several times. She was just about thrashing on the bed from this.
"Oh, god Shinji, Please I need you right now. I need to feel you inside me." She gasped out.
All Shinji could do was nod. "I I don't know what to um do I've never done this before."
Misato was breathing hard, "I'll help you. Don't worry." She smiled a little and saw Shinji smile back. She opened her thighs, and gestured for Shinji to move forward a bit. He did exactly what she wanted him to do. Misato then reached down between the two of them, wrapping her hand around his manhood. Shinji gasped out loud. No one else had ever touched him before. This was absolutely amazing. Misato moved her hand up and down his throbbing member and she saw Shinji's eyes roll back in absolute pleasure, his breathing had quickened as he moaned loudly.
She pushed herself closer and positioned Shinji's member against her entrance, "All right now, go ahead." Misato gasped.
Shinji moved a bit pushing himself inside of her, if he thought her hand on him was amazing this was, was he didn't have words that could describe this. Her inner walls hugged him tightly as he pushed himself all the way inside of her. He rested a minute getting used to the tightness, the amazing feel of her all hot around him.
"Uhhh Mis..ato this feels, uhhh, really " He noticed she was panting and she started to move her hips.
Once again that male instinct took over and he started moving in and out of her, slowly at first getting used to this. Shinji was amazed at this feeling he was so hot and hard buried completely within her, every time he thrust into her body, she would move her hips to meet him. They started picking up their pace a bit, Misato going as slow as she could but she need to feel this, she had to feel something. She pounded against him harder as he did her. It just wasn't enough.
Misato managed to roll over so that he was beneath her and she continued to rock her hips against him. Her loud cries and moans filled the whole room and she came down on him, her insides gripping him with every movement she made. Shinji couldn't believe it, his body actually kept up with hers, plunging into her as hard as he could and it didn't seem to hurt her, and she wanted it.
"Oh Shinji ahh! I'm gonna!" Her whole body was so hot as it clinched against him hard, not wanting to let go. Her body shuddered, feeling the aching release that wracked her body, her mind everything was soaring.
Shinji too felt a wild explosion within him as he filled her with everything he had, making him cry out his release into the night. Misato, exhausted and sweaty collapsed against him, breathing really hard, she felt Shinji's arms circle around her. Her head rested against his chest, his heart was still beating fast as was hers and she snuggled against him.
After a few minutes they finally settled down, relaxing and enjoying the after effects of sharing each other.
"Thank you Shinji." Misato broke the silence.
"For what?" Shinji was stroking her hair.
Misato sighed, "For this, for being here for me when I needed you."
"But all we did was well you know." Shinji's face increased in color.
A tiny laugh was heard from Misato, "I know that. But even physical connection like this can help." She smiled a little. "You really are special Shinji, just always remember that. No matter what happens."
Shinji nodded, "I'll try."
Misato glanced down at him as he closed his eyes; she stroked his cheek with her fingers a bit. Then leaned her head down to sleep herself. She knew she would get over this, all she needed was a little time, and with Shinji as her friend, she knew it was possible.